Mirror
by TotallyStoned3
Summary: Sometimes following your dreams never work out the way you thought it would. Two talented musicians find this out the hard way. AU HitsuKarin, GrimmIchi, Angst, Mild Yaoi, Major Adult Themes
1. Tune 0: Prologue

**Author's Note: *hides away from hoards of readers that's been waiting forever for updates* I'm sorry! However I bring you a remake and reboot of an old story of mines that I just recently found again. I will still continue AINEH and MG but in due time!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Tite Kubo or Bleach. I also do no own any song lyrics used in this fic.**

 **Song: Ghosts by "Pvris"**

* * *

Mira  
Tune 0: Mirror

Miroiter.

Specchio.

 _Mira._

No matter what language we said it in that word will remain in our lives. It represented everything from our music, our relationship, us. We reflected one another. That's a sole fact that will remain the same.

 _'Leave. You're interrupting my practicing.'_

I strummed my guitar as his voice ranged through my head. It's been a week since my brain blocked his voice out completely. His low, husky voice that left a conceited feeling behind. I remembered when I first met him down at the school basement. He was sitting there, a Marlboro medium cigarette between his thin pink lips, and his 1959 Sunburst Les Paul perched on his lap.

His words came out sharply as if cutting my presence with a knife. The only thing I managed to do was glare and situate myself beside him. He said nothing else and continued to play experimental.

I looked down at the guitar in my hands. The exact same one he was playing all those years ago. I tapped my cigarette to get rid of the ash before staring at the CD case next to me. It was wrapped as it lay by the can of Joose. The cover was black with only a Fender Precision Bass on the front. The body was alder and ash, the neck maple, and the fret board maple. Tied to the fret board was a black and white striped scarf with a white rose. The white rose he kept alive till now.

 _Mira_

 _Farewell_

How nostalgic. I remembered he told me what the original name of the album was going to be. Beginning. The picture was supposed to be a wedding ring on a red rose petal. I laughed dryly before focusing on the notepad in front of me. I was supposed to be writing a lyric but my mind was blank. All the good ones we wrote together.

Together. We were always with each other. Concerts, signings, movies, writing-we were always together, even when weren't together we were always _together_.

 _'I simply just don't want to be seen with you.'_

We never thought like that back then. Especially him. He never wanted to know me, to be seen with me, to care for me. Neither did I but things changed when I saw him perform at a local live. His performance was like no other. Everything about his performance was unreal. His voice was synchronized with the music. His voice was the music. Back then I wanted to do nothing but perform with him.

 _'You're persisted aren't you?'_

I stubbed my cigarette out before playing classical rock, but soon stopped as I looked at my simple purple guitar pick. It wasn't powerful like that one. The one he got me for our first performance.

 _'What did you have in mind?'_

He would always ask me that question when we were practicing for the live. He wanted to give me something to repay me for the rose I gave him.

 _'Surely I'm not the last man you'll be with. You're not that in love with me.'_

That's what he said I as I place the chained locket around his pale neck. I only smirked before pushing him down onto the leather couch.

 _'Not there! Definitely not there!'_

That was two months into our twisted relationship. To me it was only one step closer to finding out who he really was.

 _'Does my life interest you so much that you'll videotape my nightly adventures.'_

It was.

 _'If it's all lies than my feelings for you are false as well.'_

That argument was only vague in my memory. I couldn't even remember what I said. I played a note before going into an unstoppable rhythm. A song came to my head.

 _'Why do you chase after me? Let me go! I'm a liar. My life is just an inexcusable lie just like you said!'_

It wasn't. It never was.

 _'Why can't I stop loving you? Why do you have is undeniable control over my heart?'_

I asked you the same thing the day before.

 _'I love you. I really do but I can't….I can't do this.'_

You never were the one to quit nor were you the one to keep secrets. I guess I was deathly wrong.

 _'He's gone and there's nothing you or I can do about that.'_

There was. That's why I went to him but if it was going to end like this I would've stayed back home in our sleepy hometown. Far away from him, and safe from all he could do to me.

" _ **Why can't you stay? I'm up against these things I can't see. They don't compare. Make me believe, make me believe**_."

' _I never stopped believing in you,… in us,… and what we are capable of.'_

" _ **I'm sorry I keep pushing. I'm sorry I keep pushing**_."

Now you're up against the ghosts in my head. Now you're truly up against the ghosts in my head…Toshiro.


	2. Tune 1: To Tokyo,the City of Fulfillment

**Author's note: Before anyone get's confused! This story is told exclusively from Karin's POV until stated otherwise and the timeline of the story switches back from the past to the present a few times. The prologue represents the state of affairs now, while these recent chapters represent a part of the past that's already happened. Think of a recent past and further past type thing. You should be able to tell the difference. Now onto the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Tite Kubo or Bleach, nor any song lyrics used.**

 **Song: Eyelids-"Pvris"**

* * *

 **Mira**  
 _Tune 1: To Tokyo, the City of Fulfillment_

[ _I'm not leaving to follow him. It's your choice to believe me or not, but I honestly couldn't care less. It's about time I fulfill my dreams because if I didn't…I will forever blame myself for letting every opportunity slip between my fingers. You understand, don't you? You always do, and as my best friend, my brother I have one last request. I'm begging you to understand. Please. I beg you.]_

My thumb hovers over the send of button of my cell phone. I couldn't stop the involuntary trembles that shook my entire being. This town that I grew up in was my whole world. This small, often rainy and very snowy town was all I knew. I often said that I wanted my beginning and my ending to be right here; where my family, my friends, and my fans are at.

But I have to. I have to leave. I have to escape these painful memories that follow me everywhere I go. I feel tears prickle the corner of my eyes, but I wouldn't allow myself to cry. It wouldn't change a thing. I won't allow it. If I didn't I would just waste more seconds of my time convincing myself to stay. Stay here where it's all predictable and safe. However, I was certain, and certainty left no room for tears, or second thoughts.

Without another word I pressed the send button and placed the red cellular in the pocket of my red designer double breasted leather jacket. I shook the rain droplets off my umbrella and walked up to the ticket booth of the Karakura train station. It was a rather well kept building and seemed almost intimidating, foreboding even; and I couldn't shake off the bad feeling that crept in the back of my mind.

"Excuse me miss, can I help you with anything?" I turned my attention back to the booth, bad feeling already forgotten and dismissed as nothing. I inhaled, and with absolute determination I acknowledged the man in front of me. There was no turning around after this. There was no going back.

"One ticket to Tokyo, please."

* * *

WOW.

The train was almost maxed out. There were people in every aisle and almost in every seat. I wondered silently if all these people also had business in Tokyo. Maybe some were like me; leaving home to start a new journey. I tighten my grip on the strap to my guitar case before making my way down the crowded aisle. I passed by many rows with no luck until I saw one guy leaning against the window with the other seat occupied by a guitar case. I got closer to the row and stopped right before I could ask.

The man was devilishly handsome with a strong jawline, smooth pink lips that was set in a firm scowl, a sharp nose, and very long eyelashes. He had five piercings on each ear and both ears were currently occupied with earbuds. I wondered momentarily what his hair color was but I couldn't tell because of the navy blue baseball cap he had on. After I finished profiling him I realized that I probably looked pretty stalkerish. I quickly recaptured my composure, and with a mild blush on my face I tapped him lightly on his shoulder. He looked up quickly and froze me to my spot once more. I thought he was gorgeous from the side, but from the whole frontal view I must know if this guy is living sin. He had the most gorgeous deep cyan blue eyes I've ever seen. They were almost catlike but held a fluorescent glow to them. He took out his earbuds, and to avoid looking like an idiot I hastily asked my question. I don't know how I managed to regain myself so quickly, but I've never been more proud of myself for doing so.

"Um, may I sit here?" He removed the guitar case and motioned for me to sit down. I took my place beside him and wondered silently if I was going to go into cardiac arrest. Sitting next to a man this gorgeous made me nervous and had my heartbeat above normal. To calm my anxiety I took out my pack of cigarettes and pulled one out. I dug in my pockets for my lighter only to grab nothing but air. I guess I must've dropped it. After triple checking my pockets I reached for my jean pockets only to come face to face with a blue lighter.

"Need a light?" Wow. Even his voice was mesmerizing.

"Uh, yeah I do. Thanks." I took the lighter and lit my cigarette before handing him back his possession. I blew out the first cloud of smoke and gratefully sigh in relief as my anxiety died down slowly. It was still there but not as bad as before.

"You look too young ta be smokin'." I looked at him from the corner of my eye with incredulity.

"I'm already nineteen! Do I really look younger than I really am?" He smirked; the corners of his mouth lifting upward in a lopsided grin.

"Yeah, I thought you were a junior high student."

"That's hurtful!"

He laughed out loud which made me snicker as well. His laugh was almost like an evil, satanically stoic cackle. It was kind of contagious and hilarious sounding. I huffed and took another drag before looking back at him.

"How old are you? You can't be day over twenty-one." He smirked again before pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it.

"Twenty-two. I guess that makes me a year over twenty-one." Touché. Before I could come back with a snarky retort he pointed to my guitar case.

"Are ya in a band?" The memories I've been trying to bury come back at full force at the mere mention of the word "band". I looked longingly at my instrument for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah," I said softly, "I _was_ in a band. We were pretty popular back in our hometown, but then things…I guess got real maybe? Our singer left to go sign with another band in Tokyo. We could never replace him so we just…quit." After that things weren't really the same. The studio was empty and I woke up alone every morning after he left.

"I guess yer from Karakura, right?" I looked back into blue eyes; shocked he knew about my hometown. Anyone who didn't live in Karakura didn't know about it or know much of it. So if you did know then that can only mean you're from there or know someone living there.

"Yeah. Why? Are you from K-town also?" He blew out a billow of smoke before looking distantly out the window that was covered in rain drops.

"Yep. My band originated from there. It's easy ta tell a K-town native from other folks. Ya got dull eyes full of hopeless dreams, tragedy, and probably most of all heartache. Everyone falls in love an' out of love in K-town. I did,…an' I can tell ya did too." I was surprised at how well he could read me even though I'm a rather complete stranger to him. My breakup with the love of my life was something I try to keep deep down and locked inside me. I don't want to talk about it, or even think about it so I try to remain as emotionless as possible everyday and every second of my life. But this guy…seemed wiser than me, like he's been through the rougher vices of everything life had to offer. I wonder...

"Who broke your heart?" I was curious. I wanted to know if we been through the same things. His bright eyes darken somewhat and he held his cigarette tightly between his two fingers. His jaw opened then closed. I was about to dismiss my inquiry, until his deep voice broke the silence.

"I don't know why I should share anythin' wit ya. I'm not exactly the "confidin type" of guy, an' I don't really care ta start now." I raised an eyebrow, slightly amused at his hardened composure. A part of me couldn't resist teasing him. After all, guys who were too proud to indulge in their feelings amused me because they usually were the types that experienced emotions much more closely than anyone else.

"Aww why's that? Did a pretty bombshell break your heart to go marry a wealthy finance manager in Tokyo? Is that why you're here? You're going track down the heartless wench that broke your heart by busting up her nice cozy relationship as revenge?" I could see the twitch in his eyebrow at my comments and I lightly chuckled at his annoyed countenance. He glared towards me before facing the window and smoking the rest of his remaining cigarette. For a while, it was just like that. He stared off towards the window while the both of us smoked in complete silence. I briefly wondered if I had crossed a line but right as I stubbed out my cigarette his deep voice spoke out to me again, albeit softer and a bit sadden.

"He ain't exactly break my heart." He? Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I mean my second oldest brother is a complete 180% swing so it didn't bother me that this gorgeous man was into dudes. Although, I was a bit disappointed. After all, this now means I have absolutely no chance with him even if I was serious about my attraction towards him. While I was digesting this information he continued on.

"Ya can even say that it's the opposite really. He was…my one. The one. The perfect one for me, but I left ta make my dreams my reality. I know I have no right ta even think about bein' remorseful, but he let me go without even a fight. That's the worst part of it all, I think." Silence came after that; him locked away in a melancholic trance (although he was trying his best to hide it away from his facial features), and me sympathizing for him. We were almost in the same situation. It was no wonder that he knew I was in pain. With the way he looks now we could almost be identical. Same scowl, dreary eyes, and slight relentless. I looked towards my seat partner once more, before ultimately deciding to return the courtesy.

"I thought he was the perfect one for me too. I can honestly say that the last four years have been the best of my life….But then…he told me…"

' _I'm leaving for Tokyo'_

"He told me he was leaving for Tokyo to sign with a major label and that even if I was hellbent on going he wouldn't allow me to."

' _I couldn't put you through that. You have bigger and better things to do than wait for me on your hands and feet.'_

His voice was still so vividly clear in my mind. It was almost like he was right there beside me still, causing my heart to go haywire, my breath to become shorter, and my skin to become warmer.

"Huh. So I left an' ya were…well left." Even through the memories I laughed a little before looking back over to him. He glanced back with a smirk before resting back into his seat. It then occurred to me that I didn't even know his name! I offered my hand, my playing hand that was adorned with rings, in a greeting gesture.

"My name is Karin. Karin Kurosaki." He started to extend his arm out towards me, but then a weird thing happened. He stopped short of taking my and his deep cyan eyes grew wide. It was almost as if he realized something important.

"Kurosaki? As in yer father's Isshin Kurosaki? The only five star doctor in K-town?" I blink at first; wondering how he knew my father. Then I mentally slap myself for forgetting that he too was from Karakura and that Karakura was a relatively small town so of course he knew he him. Probably went to him at one point.

"Yeah he is. Did you visit him once?" A grin appeared on his handsome face as he traveled down memory lane.

"Oh yea! I broke muh arm when I was thirteen an' since I was alone I had ta drag my ass to y'all clinic since it was close." He stopped before deciding to switch the subject. He blurted the question out in a hurry as if he was nervous.

"Is Ichigo Kurosaki your brother?" When I did register the question a picture of my brother flashed through my mind instantly. His unruly spiky orange hair framed his clear vivid amber eyes. His trademark scowled stared back at me and his skin was still a sun-kissed tan unlike my pale complexion. At the mere image of him I thought back to my text earlier. I wondered momentarily if he received it yet.

"Yeah he is. He's probably the only sane one in the family beside me." The man chuckles at this.

"That's true. He's a fireball but compared ta Shiro he's the one wit mo' common sense." I sigh at the mention of my eldest brother. I love him but he's always just been so troublesome. I briefly wondered what he was up to. I wondered if Ichigo already called him and told him that I suddenly left in the middle of the night.

"You're telling me? I used to live with them!" _Used to_. I feel a small pang in my heart as I realize that I'll no longer see those two. At least not on an everyday basis, but when make my dream a reality…just maybe I can buy that huge mansion for all us to live in like we always talked about. Then they could always be around, and we wouldn't be miles apart right now.

"I feel for ya." He gazed out towards the rain splattered window once more. I gaze towards the guitar case by my side, reminiscing of old times. I didn't get too deep in my memories when a hand was outstretched in front of me.

I visually traveled up the length of the muscled tatted arm until I came eye to eye with endless blue.

"I never told ya muh name. I'm Grimmjow. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." I grabbed his hand and gave a firm shake as a smile crept on my face.

"Your name sounds like it should be a Mexico imported taco mix." I laughed as he gave me a rather sour look. Honestly, if we didn't already seemingly got to know each other I might've been scared by that stare. But it only made me laugh even harder.

"Aren't you named after fruit? I doubt ya have much room ta talk." I shrug my shoulders which he scoffed at. Ultimately a small smirk found its way on his face as he looked back towards me.

"What's yer goal once ya get ta Tokyo?" It was rather random, but the look on his face seemed quite serious. Grimmjow seemed quite interested in my answer as he raised a blue eyebrow as I hesitated. A part of me, deep inside of me, was apprehensive of my answer. Once I spoke my of intentions, truly speak them into existence, it only solidifies my resolve and decision even more. I guess this is what I need, because even though I'm mentally trying to stay focused these memories just keep popping up and reminding me of my failures and fears.

"I want to follow my dream of becoming a musician." At my admission I felt slightly lighter on the inside. "I want to play in a band, play for thousands of people, and listen to all the screams of my fans as I play for them all with every last bit of strength that I have. I want to create music where you can instantly become one with it, embody it and truly feel the emotions behind it all. I want to create music that the sad little girl in town of dead ends can listen to and suddenly feel hopeful that there is more to life than what she's already seeing. I want….I want to be that person that…" I didn't know how to end that. I was suddenly out of breath as I felt ten times lighter than I did a second ago. Truthfully, I never thought much about what I wanted outside of being just a musician. It wasn't until just now that I realized that I wanted to be more than that, that I could be that sound that you could listen to and feel an instant connection with. I wanted to live on in the hearts of the people who enjoy my music, because they mean something to me as much as I mean something to them.

"Can ya sing?" I looked back towards Grimmjow, and I didn't notice during my rant that he brought out his rather gorgeous (and expensive) Fender Jim Root Stratocaster electric guitar. The body was a smooth white mahogany with a neon blue finish, white maple fret board, and a rather large silver headstock. I glanced nervously towards him as he waited impatiently for an answer.

"I mean… I guess. My brothers always tell me how great my voice is. They were always convincing me to be the lead, but" I glanced towards my own guitar case beside me," I preferred to feel the strings sing beneath my fingertips." Grimmjow smirked as he struck a chord and a melodious sound rang throughout the train.

"I know how ya feel, but muh gut is tellin' me yer sellin' yerself short. Sing for me."

"Wait what?! Seriously?!" I looked around nervously towards the other passengers, and although they were all busy in their own worlds I still felt eyes on me and the nervousness grew even worst.

"I can't. I couldn't possibly sing in front of all these people!" I gestured towards the rest of the passengers for Grimmjow, who was looking less than impress with my shy reluctance.

"Sing." He demanded, and before I could protest he delved into soft melody. His hands glided all around the guitar with an expertise and control, I have never personally seen before. It was soft, and the whole train was engulfed in his soft and soothing music. He soon went on to a harsher, deeper, but still smooth tempo before going back to the original soft melody. He abruptly stopped and then looks towards me.

"Got it?" I only nodded, not even remembering that I didn't even agree to sing. He began to play again, and this time I closed my eyes and listened to the music. No other sound reached my ears except the soft whispers of Grimmjow's guitar.

" _ **I'll face my fear of the evening… once I get used to this feeling."**_ I started softly. _**"I can't sleep. That's when you're torn away from me. While I'm dreaming… I feel you leaving."**_ The melody switched back to the harder tempo for a few seconds, before switching back to its softer side.

" _ **I'll face my fear of the sunrise…when I wake up with… your hand inside mine. It's hard to say "good morning" when it's followed with "goodbye".**_ As I sang deep down inside me the lyrics I memorized from my notebook of songs turned into memories. His hand was entwined with mine as the morning sun shone all over his handsome face. It lit up his amazing smile than his pointy nose adorned with a crystal stud than finally, sparkling sea foam green irises that looked back at me. The tempo sped up once more, and although I had resigned to only singing the softer melodies a burst of confidence and emotion overcame as I sang even harder and louder.

" _ **Our eyes fighting the light …but I'm not ready to say "good night". Oooh ooh wooo ooh. I try and hold on tight but it's just not time to say "good night". Say good night**_!" I expected the music to continue but it ended as soon as it started. I opened my eyes and looked towards Grimmjow who was smirking at me.

"Ya know. I've been looking fer a voice just like yers fer quite some time. I'm a firm believer in that not just every person wit pretty voice can truly sing. Ya gotta feel it. When the lyrics come out yer mouth ya gotta be the song. The song has to be you. There should be no difference between the two of ya cause a true singer feels the music as deeply as the music feels them. And ya…ya got that fire. I like it." He bent down to grab his guitar case to put away his precious instrument.

I blushed at the open compliment and looked away slightly. My singing was always a weak point of mines. I never truly believed in it, not like my abilities to play guitar. Although every person I have ever sung for has told me I was outstanding, I never quite believed it. For me, to sing is to perform wholeheartedly in front of people. It's not the same experience as just playing an instrument where you're working with a whole another piece to make music. When you're singing, the music is just you. You don't need instruments to create music. You were the music, and when you sing people can see that. It's much closer and more personal experience than I can deal with. I'm naturally reclusive and although I want to perform for thousands of people I was hoping to do it behind the comforts of my guitar.

"Yer comin' wit me." I was still overly shocked at the rather nice compliment Grimmjow just gave me but then his proclamation made me do a double take.

"Excuse me?" How could he just tell someone they're going with him?! I have a free will, and I would like to choose where I go and not be told where to go. At least ask first!

"Ya heard me. Yer comin' wit me. We're both goin' to Tokyo so we might as well stick together an' start a band." After he finished zipping up his guitar case he looked back towards me. While I have seen a myriad of expressions from Grimmjow from just sitting by him for three hours, I have yet to experience this super serious expression he was giving me. He was serious; I can see it in his eyes.

"The two of us get a place together. We split rent half an' half and take care of our individual utility bills. I have a good job lined up already that pays good money so I'll always have my half. We can either use the place as a studio or rent one out, right after we find another guitarist, bassist, an' drummer. If we can do all that before the summer, we can enter into the Festival of Bandz an' set our eyes on first place. Win first place, we get an automatic record deal wit' our choice between three major record labels an' that will take care of the most important parts of establishin' ourselves. Wit' yer voice I know we can do it. So what'cha say?

"You have an awful lot of confidence in my voice. Even I don't have that much faith in it." He rolled his eyes at my unconfident response.

"Ya say that now, but a when we get a band together an' release our first EP you'll see how good yer voice is."

I looked away from him for a moment and clasped my hands together. Truthfully, I had major doubts and reservations on this, but this was a pretty good situation right now. I didn't have to look for an immediate roommate or hunt around for a guitarist at the level that Grimmjow is on. He already has a job established, and thanks to my twin I do too. Honestly, this cuts down the work I have to do by a lot. The fact that Grimmjow was a pretty alright dude was a bonus, so my roommate and I would get along tremendously. This is what I was looking for. This is what I want. I left home to follow my dream and here is the very beginning already paving an easy route for me.

I might as well take it.

"Okay." I said, as I unclasped my hands and looked back to my soon to be roommate. He gave me a rather feral grin before taking out another cigarette and glancing towards clock above the entryway to the other train-car.

"Word. Well, Kurosaki we officially have five more hours until the next chapter of our lives begins. I already have several house listings up fer view tomorrow so we can begin house searchin' immediately." I nodded, and smiled at how proactive he already was about all this. I'm instantly glad I had the balls to ask him to sit right next to him. Now, it seems as if leaving home wasn't going to be too bad after all.

"Hey lady! Give me two beers over here!" The lady smiled flirtatiously at Grimmjow's request before shortly returning with two cold ones in her hands. She hands both Grimmjow and I one before winking at him and leaving to attend to more passengers. I looked skeptically towards my new bandmate who only shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"They all waste their time flirtin'. It gets pretty old after a while." I popped open my beer as did he.

"Imagine how heartbroken they would be if they knew you were gay."

"That's their problem, not mine." I laughed at his sardonic and nonchalant attitude.

"Now now! You can't treat our female fans like this! You got to give them something work with." I joked while slightly rubbing my elbow in his side. Honestly, I'm already getting used to our dynamic. He lifted his beer towards mines with a smirk.

"We're goin' to take over this city. You gotta promise me." I clanked my can against his before taking a sip. Crisp, cool beer soothed my throat as I swallowed a huge gulp. I looked back towards Grimmjow who waited for my response. I grinned as we stared each other down, trying to find doubt or apprehension in each other's eyes. All I saw was deep utter determination that gave me an extra boost of confidence.

"I promise." I haven't felt this energized for the future in a long time, but as we sipped our beers and chatted some more as the train trudged along I knew that Tokyo was already starting to feel kind of like home. The city of fulfillment was mines for the taking, and nobody could stop me.

Not even _him_.


End file.
